Sunday, January 31, 2016
01.31.16.
Well…shit just got real. Started moving today and have till Monday to clear the house out…then I’m going to be focusing on A LOT of me time and just doing me! I’m having the most stressful past few days and am not looking forward to this week because I’m really worried about Thursday and feel so depressed and alone :( God damn, my life has changed dramatically within not even this past month and I feel like I’m back to square one and my life is shambles…I’m going to try and make a better situation out of a bad one though and work on bettering my life even more than I have and going back to school. Especially going back to the ‘normal’ Ashlee again. I’m getting closer to the way I used to be every day…So I really hope I can move on from this sooner than I’m thinking I will…It’s probably gonna take a while.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
01.17.16.
Don’t ask! I’ve been going through so much this week…it’s been the worst week of my whole life :( I’ll update soon..
want to give the middle finger but i got two better! DEUCES!!
--->
DEUCES REMIX <---
(
MOOD) i’m willing to work it out however long it takes you. you feel like you miss those happy days well boy, that makes two of us…and if it doesn't soon, i'm chucking up them deuces cause i want to give the middle finger but i got two better ;p
this ones for you, rick!
--->
THE WORST - JHENNE AIKO <---
&& don’t take this personal, but you’re the worst, you know what you’ve done to me. and all though it hurts i know i just can’t keep running away…
i don’t need you, i don’t need you, i don’t need you but i want you. i don’t mean to, i don’t mean to, i don’t mean to, but i love you…
(
MOOD) =( this video reminds me of what i would have done if i hadn't gotten control over my emotions, it was so me just a few months ago...lmao! and plus i can't live without him...my hearts breaking every single day and i hate this feeling.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
12.29.15.
So I finally got my Macbook working again. Plus I have my Dell still but I was more concerned as to why my Macbook was doing what it was doing because everybody told me that Macbook’s won’t get viruses and will still run as fast as it does 10 years from now as it did when you just buy them..So Christmas was good overall except for the fact that out of that whole week I get sick right on Christmas morning. Well it really lasted most of the day, I had a cluster headache on the left side of my head that resulted in me throwing up from it. The next day I still felt kind of sick and had a mild headache but at least I didn’t throw up or feel nauseous lol. And just some minor difficulty when it comes to my relationship and spending more time together but I don’t like to announce too much publicly about my relationships so I’ll keep it at that. I just can’t wait for things to be normal again which it gets better on and off..
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
06.17.15.
Pete came down for his hearing this past Tuesday, and before that he kept saying how he wanted something serious with me even debated on getting me pregnant! (even though I couldn’t handle that right now lol but didn’t really say anything..) but then he would start accusing me of all this shit and i don’t know but i had this gut feeling that his accusations and assumptions were coming from his own guilty conscious…so i know i shouldn’t have and never snoop like this but he left his phone in my car while he went into the court house and i went through it…sure enough my gut was right. he had been seeing his old girlfriend he was with when i first met him (some fat, ugly mexican girl) who bailed on him once he got locked up tho. i held him down, did so much and was there for him more than anyone and he tells me if he got out he would make it up to me. i thought we had something special but this always ends up happening to me. i’m very upset now since then, just knowing how much time and effort i put into him and making this work and yet he comes home and sees me only a couple days out of the entire almost two months hes out and fucks his scumbag ex so i guess this is what i get for letting my guard down again..i’ll finish the rest of this later. very busy tonight. mom’s in hospital and i am putting my little man to bed. night!
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
update!
I moved my old blog to this one! But the old layout still grew on me so I kept it up :) I'll post more soon...
queen of hearts.
My full name is Ashlee Taylor Fenstermacher. I was born March 20th, 1990. I'm a proud Pisces! Born and raised in a small town in Northeastern PA. I'm mostly German, born with blonde hair and blue eyes. And I'm definitely a daddy's girl. Music is my life! (I can be a complete shitty mood and once I hear the right song, it's a complete turn around!) It's a huge part of my life and I absolutely adore the arts. I'm probably one of the classiest girls you will ever meet! I'm shy at first, but really fun and outgoing once you get to know me. Some good traits I have: very creative, random, kind, caring, unique, intelligent, fun loving and open-minded. My downfalls would be that I can be forgetful, stubborn, and I'm not as responsible as I'd like to be but I'm working on it...I have a little boy, born in 2012, named Kayden...and he is my everything. My love life is complicated, so I won't go there. I'm definitely a giver when it comes to any type of relationship, and will go above and beyond for something that means enough to me or to please or make somebody happy or laugh. Unfortunately, I can forgive waaay too easily. I am attending two different colleges; one minoring in massage therapy and the other majoring in psychology. I hate being bored, so I keep alot of hobbies and one trend I sparked was modeling and I enjoy it. Although I have my blonde moments, I do have a high IQ and am a very smart girl who loves researching the unknown and conspiracy theories/contraversies of the universe. I love being able to hold an actual intellectual conversation with someone who can keep up with or expand my own knowledge. I don't really care what people think; so you can choke on your opinions; rumors are for high school and I AM a grown ass woman. So people consider me a rebel. I have no religion; my beliefs are LOGIC. I guess I come off as ditsy in the way that I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my shoulders. And I'm one of those smart girls who make dumb or wrong decisions at times...but I have a hard time admitting to being wrong. I'm pretty high maintenence, and am a materialistic girl; so the best is all I will settle for. I may act conceided or confident but I still have insecurities that will eat me alive if I let them. I'm pretty much like one of the guys and get along better with the opposite sex. I live my life to the fullest, and don't listen to other people because I make my own decisions and will learn from my own mistakes. I want everything; I'm the biggest shopaholic I know. I can't really sum myself up in one paragraph so that's all folks! ;)
BASICS:
name: ashlee taylor fenstermacher.
dob: 03.20.1990.
gender: female.
race: white/caucasion.
height: 5'5".
weight: 130-135 lbs.
status: happily taken and in love with my soulmate, ricky gowern!
sign: Pisces
hair: blonde with brown highlights.
eyes: blue-green-gray..always changing between them three colors.
occupation: student (going to two different colleges).
minoring: massage therapy.
majoring: psychology and graphic design.
children: one child, my son kayden georgescu. and he is my world!
LIKES:
music.
shopping.
photography/modeling.
the arts.
traveling.
writing.
singing.
drawing.
computers/graphics.
partying.
summer.
fashion.
cars.
amusement parks.
the beach.
any fun events.
MY LOVES
Of course I need to show off the two most very important loves in my life; My son, Kayden; My little prodigy and handsome little man who has such an incredible, fun-loving personality already for his age. He's always shocked people by being smart beyond his years and has such a big heart. He is my whole world and everything I live for, making me so proud day by day...And my soulmate/boyfriend, Patrick; Whom I could honestly talk forever about just how perfect this man is to me and what an amazing person he is altogether. He's got such a beautiful mind and personality, incredibly intelligent, so strong, funny and fun to be around, the most handsome face I've ever seen and sexiest beast of a body...I'm completely in love with this amazing man and look forward to spending the rest of my life with him...I swear, I know I will marry this handsome man one day... ;)<3
Sunday, January 31, 2016
01.31.16.
Well…shit just got real. Started moving today and have till Monday to clear the house out…then I’m going to be focusing on A LOT of me time and just doing me! I’m having the most stressful past few days and am not looking forward to this week because I’m really worried about Thursday and feel so depressed and alone :( God damn, my life has changed dramatically within not even this past month and I feel like I’m back to square one and my life is shambles…I’m going to try and make a better situation out of a bad one though and work on bettering my life even more than I have and going back to school. Especially going back to the ‘normal’ Ashlee again. I’m getting closer to the way I used to be every day…So I really hope I can move on from this sooner than I’m thinking I will…It’s probably gonna take a while.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
01.17.16.
Don’t ask! I’ve been going through so much this week…it’s been the worst week of my whole life :( I’ll update soon..
want to give the middle finger but i got two better! DEUCES!!
--->
DEUCES REMIX <---
(
MOOD) i’m willing to work it out however long it takes you. you feel like you miss those happy days well boy, that makes two of us…and if it doesn't soon, i'm chucking up them deuces cause i want to give the middle finger but i got two better ;p
this ones for you, rick!
--->
THE WORST - JHENNE AIKO <---
&& don’t take this personal, but you’re the worst, you know what you’ve done to me. and all though it hurts i know i just can’t keep running away…
i don’t need you, i don’t need you, i don’t need you but i want you. i don’t mean to, i don’t mean to, i don’t mean to, but i love you…
(
MOOD) =( this video reminds me of what i would have done if i hadn't gotten control over my emotions, it was so me just a few months ago...lmao! and plus i can't live without him...my hearts breaking every single day and i hate this feeling.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
12.29.15.
So I finally got my Macbook working again. Plus I have my Dell still but I was more concerned as to why my Macbook was doing what it was doing because everybody told me that Macbook’s won’t get viruses and will still run as fast as it does 10 years from now as it did when you just buy them..So Christmas was good overall except for the fact that out of that whole week I get sick right on Christmas morning. Well it really lasted most of the day, I had a cluster headache on the left side of my head that resulted in me throwing up from it. The next day I still felt kind of sick and had a mild headache but at least I didn’t throw up or feel nauseous lol. And just some minor difficulty when it comes to my relationship and spending more time together but I don’t like to announce too much publicly about my relationships so I’ll keep it at that. I just can’t wait for things to be normal again which it gets better on and off..
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
06.17.15.
Pete came down for his hearing this past Tuesday, and before that he kept saying how he wanted something serious with me even debated on getting me pregnant! (even though I couldn’t handle that right now lol but didn’t really say anything..) but then he would start accusing me of all this shit and i don’t know but i had this gut feeling that his accusations and assumptions were coming from his own guilty conscious…so i know i shouldn’t have and never snoop like this but he left his phone in my car while he went into the court house and i went through it…sure enough my gut was right. he had been seeing his old girlfriend he was with when i first met him (some fat, ugly mexican girl) who bailed on him once he got locked up tho. i held him down, did so much and was there for him more than anyone and he tells me if he got out he would make it up to me. i thought we had something special but this always ends up happening to me. i’m very upset now since then, just knowing how much time and effort i put into him and making this work and yet he comes home and sees me only a couple days out of the entire almost two months hes out and fucks his scumbag ex so i guess this is what i get for letting my guard down again..i’ll finish the rest of this later. very busy tonight. mom’s in hospital and i am putting my little man to bed. night!
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
update!
I moved my old blog to this one! But the old layout still grew on me so I kept it up :) I'll post more soon...
